Breaking News: Dear God, They’re Breeding

October 5, 2005

Tom Cruise & Katie HolmesMedia Absurdum was shocked and horrified (we threw up in our mouths a little) to learn that TomKat will, in nine months time, be the proud owner of the littlest Scientologist. No matter how you slice it, this is not good news. The world is already overflowing with crazy people, there’s really no need for them to make a tiny one of their very own. Here’s what Cruise’s sister/press rep/fellow Scientologist, Lee Ann DeVette, had to say about the newly prenatal couple:

“Tom and Katie are very excited, and the entire family is very excited.”

She went on to add that Holmes “has never felt better.” Let’s see how good she feels after 20 hours of labor sans epidural on the grounds that it’s “against Scientology.” And heaven forbid she succumb to postpartum depression; no one wants a repeat of Tom’s Today Show crazy-fest.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Expecting – AP via Yahoo!

Related Post(s):
Tom & Katie: A Very Special Episode of ‘The Twilight Zone’
Five Reasons Tom Cruise is Dating Katie Holmes

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