Renovation Degeneration

October 1, 2005

Welcome to HellThe prospect of having anything new is fun and exciting to most. So, when MA’s landlord offered to remodel the kitchen of our small, two-bedroom New York apartment, we jumped at the chance to have the clean lines and grime-free floor a new cucina would afford.

Well, what was to have started two weeks ago started one week ago, and what was to have taken only one week to complete will now take two (at least). The incomprehensible, gut-wrenching stress this has caused is enough to make us wish we’d instead agreed to a Gigli/Showgirls double-feature.

At least we have a windowThat fan should come in handy when we start to hyperventilate

The living room no longer exists. The space has been overtaken by the unrealized superabundance of stuff we tend to collect when not paying attention, all of which has been pushed against a single wall and covered in heavy, clear plastic. It’s unusable, like some kind of tragic Christo creation sans the artistic flair and undue publicity.

Things we’re able to do: sleep, take a shower, go to the bathroom, blog.

Things we’re not able to do: watch TV, relax, prepare meals, live like human beings.

Kids, don’t try this at home.

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