Unless you’ve been living in a remote part of the world that has not yet discovered the modern intellectual pursuit of the written or spoken word, you already know that bizarro-couple Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are engaged. In a move that makes their relationship even creepier (if possible), Cruise sat down with Matt Lauer to espouse the greatness of life and unintentionally reaffirm his impending insanity. With ever-present, pseudo-fiancee Katie leering in the eerie, off-camera darkness, Cruise spoke of his new movie, life with Katie, and, of course, his fondness for publicly denouncing drug-assisted recovery from serious mental illness. In case you missed the magic, MSNBC has made the lunacy available for the low, low price of free.

I’m passionate about life – MSNBC

Or, for your amusement, check out this gem from the depths of the Interweb: Tom Cruise Kills Oprah

Learn why Tom Cruise is so… well, you know: What the hell is Scientology?

Related Post(s):
Five Reasons Tom Cruise Is Dating Katie Holmes

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In a move that surprises no one, 20 year-old rehab veteran Kelly Osbourne has gone back to the clinic. A family spokesperson had this to say:

“Kelly is in a facility dealing with some personal issues. She’ll be back in a few weeks.”

Drugs have become part of the Osbourne family’s raison d’etre; father Ozzie and brother Jack are also former treatment facility residents. It’s only a matter of time before someone’s drug-induced hallucination turns one of the dogs into a ham sandwich.

Report: Kelly Osbourne Back In Rehab – The Hawaii Channel