Thank Satan It’s Friday?

February 18, 2005

Opening in wide release: another Hell-centric Keanu Reeves thriller, a kid-friendly, intellectually draining tale of a smiling canine, and a movie so bad the celluloid smells like s*#%. Viewer discretion is advised. Media Absurdum urges you to seek out the nearest limited run theater.

Constantine (R) Keanu Reeves explores the many facets of his acting ability in this supernatural action flick and Rachel Weisz earns some extra pocket change as costar. An easy choice for those of you looking to escape the tedium of thought.

Because of Winn-Dixie (PG) An episodic tale of a lonely girl who finds solace in the company of a dog with the computer-aided ability to smile. The eccentric cast eclipses the premise: Jeff Daniels, Cicely Tyson, Eva Marie Saint, and Dave Matthews.

Son of the Mask (PG) Arguably one of the worst-reviewed ‘Bennifer’-free films in recent memory. Unless the idea of gouging one’s own eyes out appeals to you, stay away from this one.

Schultze Gets the Blues (PG, Limited) Schultze is fed up with the monotony of life. Dissatisfied with every waking hour being spent at work or the pub, he decides to go where the real action is: rural Louisiana. And no, it’s not a German remake of Deliverance. Seriously, the critics like it.

Harry and Max (Unrated, New York City) Director Christopher Münch (The Hours and Times) brings controversy to the screen in this Sundance Grand Jury Prize nominee. Apparently, homoeroticism isn’t enough to save this one.

Imaginary Heroes (R, NY and LA) 25 year-old screenwriter Daniel Harris makes his directorial debut with this “poignant and funny” examination of the average American family. Watch as a strung out mother and has-been father reunite their clan in a cloud of smoke and pity.

Downfall (Der Untergang) (R, Limited) This dramatic rendition of Hitler’s last days is nominated for Best Foreign Language Film. If the Academy’s past affection for WWII films is any indication, this picture is a shoo-in.

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