August 25, 2006
Richard Lovell, president of Creative Arts Agency–the talent management company of which Cruise is a client–is now exclaiming his anger over the star’s abrupt exile from the Paramount lot. In an interview with The Wall Street Journal, the CAA president criticized Viacom head Sumner Redstone for his very public admonishment of Cruise’s behavior, and chastised the media conglomerate for its ostensible lack of leadership. In fact, Lovell is so up-in-arms about the whole situation that the agency may put the kibosh on all future business dealings with Paramount.
Is this sudden outcry of support for Cruise due in part to his Scientology pals? In a word: no. Paula Wagner, Cruise’s producing partner and former Paramount lot-mate, was once herself an agent for the talent management company. She also happens to be married to Cruise’s current rep at CAA, Rick Nicita. No doubt a little bit of spousal prodding–and perhaps some big favors being called in–resulted in the public display of support.
Other power players in Hollywood aren’t so critical of Viacom’s decision. In fact, they’re applauding the action taken to banish Cruise from the land of Paramount. Both David Geffen of Dreamworks SKG, and power producer Brian Glazer reportedly offered congratulatory phone calls to Redstone shortly after his controversial announcement.
In response to the positive reinforcement, Redstone offered these fighting words:
“It is about time that the industry started dealing with these stars in a different manner and let them know that they are not going to get big money and act in a way that is inappropriate and embarrasses the studios.”
December 2, 2005
Details are scarce, but apparently Bennifer II gave birth yesterday. This is what we have to work with:
They said the baby was born at 6:26 p.m. EST Thursday but would not give any other details, including where the infant was born.
Yeah, we got nothin’.
November 20, 2005
Media Absurdum was privileged to attend the November 19th dress rehearsal of Saturday Night Live with host Eva Longoria and deafening “musical” guest Korn, but we had no idea our visit to NBC would blessed by a special guest not scheduled to appear.
While waiting in the lobby in what’s dubbed “Kat’s Line,” we watched an unsung member of NBC’s crack news team receive preferential treatment, cutting through security ahead of the unworthy masses.
Much to our surprise, it was the Today Show‘s own Ann Curry at the receiving end of the corporate coddling. She had arrived with her family–a gigantic Viking-husband and two Stepford children–to catch Saturday’s run-through.
A bit later, as we stood on line near the restrooms outside of studio 8H, Ann, with unflinching courtesy, answered a wayward audience member’s inquiry as to which line was for the men’s room and which was for the show. We were taken aback by her willingness to answer even the most un-journalistic of questions.
We found our seats after what seemed an unreasonable amount of time to wait for a rehearsal, and our eyes were immediately drawn to the much-coveted floor seats in desperate search of Curry. But alas, she was nowhere to be found. Just before the dimming of the house lights, as we scanned the cheap seats in a game of “spot the out-of-towners,” we discovered the morning news anchor/bathroom attendant sitting a mere thirty feet away. We were both pleased and a little shocked by her decision to share the experience with us common folk.
As with most episodes of SNL, the show was peppered with hits and misses, but Curry’s huge man-husband seemed to enjoy any and all jokes aimed at President Bush’s brand of buffoonery. The kids were particularly well-behaved, but showed little interest.
The evening’s most perplexing and unexpected moment came when the band took to the stage. Curry, the last person we’d associate with Korn’s brand of crap-rock, appeared enamored with their loud, incoherent stylings, so much so that she foot tapped, head bobbed, and air punched her way through both performances.
We’re still wrestling with the question of who was more entertaining: Ann or the cast?
November 9, 2005
To all three of Tom Cruise’s remaining fans: You can now breathe a simultaneous sigh of relief. In an effort to clean up his image, the “Mission: Impossible 3” star has seen fit to replace his publicist (and sister), Lee Anne DeVette, with Hollywood veteran Paul Bloch. Although it’s widely accepted that Cruise himself invited the slew of bad press he’s received this year, firing DeVette for failing to put a positive spin on his very public relocation to Crazytown was a shrewd move. A devoted Scientologist herself, DeVette was likely not as alarmed by brother Tom’s on-camera antics as, say, the rest of the world. But Cruise has a soft spot for family; DeVette will remain on the payroll as manager of his philanthropic efforts. Scientology tents for everyone!
November 6, 2005
Keeping up with the relationship antics of British tabloid darlings Jude Law and Sienna Miller is damn near exhausting. According to The Bosh, Law and Miller were spotted out and about at London restaurant Raoul’s this past Wednesday. Miller is said to have been all smiles on her arrival to the restaurant, while Law was captured “beaming” in a photograph taken the following day. This is in stark contrast to their dramatic encounter in Paris just three weeks earlier.
Normally our gossipmongering, celebrity-obsessed selves would be all atwitter at the prospect of a Jude/Sienna reconciliation, but we just don’t have enough energy left to commit to their relationship.
Stay tuned for the inevitable Law/Miller say-it-isn’t-so post-reconciliation breakup news flash.
November 1, 2005
It took more than eight months, but Media Absurdum is celebrating the 1st of November with our 100th post. That’s right, 100 entries and counting.
And, in honor of such an auspicious occasion, we invite you to take stock of some of our most important contributions to the world of online quasi journalism:
Feb. 10, 2005 – Bad Hair: The Early Years
Feb. 16 – An Ass in One Hand, A Drink in the Other
Feb. 17 – Because, Apparently, You Oughta Know
Feb. 23 – Tears of a Clown
Feb. 25 – Yawn
Mar. 15 – Two-Time Oscar® Winner Attempts to Smuggle Fruit Into Small Island Nation
Mar. 21 – Celebrity Gossip-Mongering Begets Alcoholism
Mar. 29 – You, Too, Can Smell Like Celine
Apr. 1 – Ozzie and Sharon Baffled by In-Home Pyrotechnics
Apr. 7 – Spears to Enter Homes, Ruin Other People’s Lives
Apr. 13 – Yes, Virginia, There is a Baby Federline
Apr. 19 – Natasha Lyonne: ‘I’m Going to Sexually Molest Your Dog’
Apr. 25 – Happy Birthday, Your Mom’s a Cokehead
Apr. 26 – My Mother is Dianne Wiest and I’m Going to Steal Your iPod
Apr. 28 – Five Reasons Tom Cruise is Dating Katie Holmes
May 3 – Acting is Hard
May 22 – Tara Reid Gets Her ‘Wild On!’
May 29 – MA Exclusive: Notorious Party Girl Val Ferrier
June 25 – Tom & Katie: A Very Special Episode of ‘The Twilight Zone’
Aug. 20 – Courtney Loves Drugs
Aug. 21 – Jude Law: No More Miller Time
Aug. 25 – ScarJo in Accident With Auto
Sept. 17 – You Had Me at ‘Annulment’
Sept. 24 – ‘Cocaine Kate’ Snorts Her Way to Tabloid Hell
Sept. 29 – Kermit Kindly Asks You Not to Lick His Backside
Oct. 14 – Jude and Sienna and Salma… Oh My!
In other egocentric news, Media Absurdum editor Tim Hayne will be contributing to the pop-culture/spirituality blog “Idol Chatter” on multifaith website Beliefnet.com. Frequent visits by MA readers will guarantee him good karma (and a day job).
October 31, 2005
Sadly, slasher crap-fest “Saw II” took home box office gold over the weekend, proving once again that moviegoers willfully ignore critics in an effort to lower their IQs. And as audiences flocked to their local cineplexes to see the widely panned flick, entertainment journalists were gleefully brainstorming as many puns as the English language would allow. For your eye-rolling pleasure:
Saw II takes biggest cut of box office – Guardian Unlimited
Saw horror sequel slices through Zorro – Globe and Mail
That’s ‘Saw’-some! Chiller nets $30.5M – New York Daily News
‘Saw II’ cuts off ‘Zorro’– Indianapolis Star
‘Saw II’ outduels ‘Zorro’ in a battle of sequels – Boston Globe
‘Saw II’ Slices Up ‘Zorro’ at Box Office – FOX News
Saw II Wins Box Office Battle of the Blades – 580 CFRA Radio, Canada
‘SAW’ A BOX-OFFICE SLASH – New York Post